A Christmas Feast for the Ungrateful...

This question really struck a chord with me because it perfectly captures the frustration of pouring your heart into the ultimate Christmas dinner, only for the kids to turn their noses up at it.

Sure, you could take the tough-love route and let them go hungry, but deep down, you want everyone to eat, enjoy, and savor the meal—without adding a mountain of extra work for yourself.

Here’s the question:

Question: “I’m hosting a Christmas Eve dinner. I usually serve prime rib, but I cringe when the little bastards leave it on their plates to be thrown out. Any suggestions for a delicious meal that takes kids into account?”

Ah, yes, the little bastards—those darling, picky eaters who will look at a perfectly roasted, juicy slice of prime rib and think, “Pass. Got any chicken nuggets?”

It’s a common plight during holiday feasts. But don’t worry, I’ve got a solution that’s delicious, resourceful, and kid-approved.

Christmas Mash Potato Pizza

This isn’t just any pizza—it’s a way to repurpose your holiday ingredients into something so fun and interactive that even the most skeptical eaters will dive in. 

It’s also a great opportunity to teach kids that food isn’t just about eating; it’s about creativity, collaboration, and maybe a little compromise. 

Plus, it’s a chance to take humble ingredients and elevate them into something that looks fancy enough to impress even the adults sneaking bites off the kids’ table.

Christmas Mash Potato Pizza

Ingredients:

Pizza Dough: Pre-made, store-bought, or homemade if you’re feeling ambitious. (Pro tip: Ask your favorite pizzeria if they’ll sell you a few dough balls. It’s fresh, easy, and supports local business.)

Base Sauce Options: Ranch dressing or olive oil. Skip the traditional marinara; we’re going for creamy and indulgent here.

Mashed Potatoes: Smooth, creamy, and ready to spread.  Less is more; too thick and it becomes messy

Cheese: Low-moisture mozzarella for stretch, mild cheddar for flavor, and Gruyère for an elegant upgrade.

Veggies: Corn kernels, green beans, mushrooms, onions—whatever’s already in your sides lineup. Chop them small for easy bites. Even smaller to hide whatever ingredient your kid won't eat.

Holiday Meats: Prime rib, turkey, ham, or bacon. Dice them into bite-sized pieces. Hell, if you need to pull some salami or prosciutto off the charcuterie board, do it. No one will judge you.

Toppings: Fresh arugula from your dinner salad for a pop of green and a drizzle of cranberry ranch dressing and a little olive oil for a festive finish.

Directions

1. Preheat the Oven

   • Heat your oven to 450°F. If you have a pizza stone, preheat that as well for an extra-crispy crust.

2. Roll Out the Dough

   • Roll out your dough on a floured surface to your desired thickness. Transfer it onto a parchment-lined baking sheet or a pizza peel if you're using a stone. Don’t hesitate to shape it to fit your baking pan—square or rectangular pizzas maximize space and make the most of your oven’s shape. If you don't have pizza dough, use canned biscuit or puff pastry dough. Don't over think this.

3. Add the Base Sauce

   • Spread a thin layer of ranch dressing or olive oil over the dough. This will act as the glue for the toppings and keep everything moist and flavorful.

4. Spread the Mashed Potatoes

   • Take your creamy mashed potatoes and spread a thin layer over the sauce. Yes, mashed potatoes on pizza—it’s a game changer.

5. Add the Cheese

   • Sprinkle on the mozzarella, cheddar, or Gruyère. I prefer Gruyère because it adds a rich, nutty depth that elevates this pizza to gourmet levels.

6. Top with Veggies and Meats

   • Scatter your finely chopped veggies and meats evenly across the surface. This is where you can have fun and let the kids design their sections with their favorite toppings!

7. Bake

   • Carefully transfer the pizza to the oven and bake for 10-12 minutes, or until the crust is golden and the cheese is bubbling.

8. While It’s Baking

   • Mix your cranberry sauce and ranch - Get ready to drizzle

9. Finishing Touches

   • Once out of the oven, sprinkle fresh arugula over the top for a bright pop of green, maybe some salt and pepper, parmesan cheese, then drizzle the cranberry ranch mix artfully across the pizza for a festive, flavorful finish.

10. Slice and Serve

    • Cut into kid-sized portions and serve hot. Watch as even the pickiest eaters dive in.

Ugh.. Pizza again?

This pizza is different and it's not just kid-friendly—it’s parent-friendly too. You’re already making mashed potatoes, vegetables, and holiday meats, so you’re not adding a ton of extra work.

The Gruyère and arugula make it feel special enough for the adults, while the interactive nature of pizza-making gets kids involved and excited about eating.

Congratulations, you look like a culinary badass.

The holidays are about togetherness, and nothing brings people together like pizza. By creating this festive and fun dish, you’re not just feeding the kids—you’re giving them a slice of the holiday spirit.

And who knows?

With a plate of Christmas Dinner Pizza in hand, even Auntie Laurel might sneak a bite off the kids’ table.

So roll out that dough, spread on those mashed potatoes, and embrace the joy of holiday improvisation.

After all, the only thing better than a perfect prime rib is knowing it won’t go to waste.

Cheers to full bellies and happy hearts!

Merry Christmas!